Max on Musics: Saturday, 2:43 PM (The Death of a Dreamer), By Logan Whitehurst and the Junior Science Club

If you're not up to date with this, I'm singing songs and I'm writing about said songs I sing. Here's the first one:

http://journalswilson.blogspot.com/2011/10/i-can-i-will-i-do-max-on-musics.html

I also wrote about the writer of this song here:

http://journalswilson.blogspot.com/2011/11/update.html

Today in Max on Musics, I present to you IN GLORIOUS LO-FI: Saturday, 2:43 PM or The Death of a Dreamer, by Logan Whitehurst and the Junior Science Club. Follow the link below, please!

http://kiwi6.com/file/m2z2ty248x

INSTRUCTIONS: Don't click anything that says download except for the blue text in the yellow box that says: Download File 4.37 MB. NOT the green thing that says download now, and not the blue button that says download, or anything else that says download. Just the blue text in the yellow box. I'm sorry for the not so user friendly shit, once I find a better way to file host I'll do that. If anyone has problems downloading, just let me know!

LYRICS:

The sun is very bright today

And still the clouds are big and gray

I wonder why that makes me think of you

The light that lands upon your face

Is from the depths of outer space

A billion years from Western Avenue

CHORUS:

My emotional survival

Depends on your arrival

Right hand on the Bible

Do you solemnly swear

That you'll keep our agreement

And meet me on the pavement

And come to my apartment

At the top of the stairs

I'll sing a little breakup song

Until I see you come along

Or maybe I will write that song for you

And then a circuit in my brain

Will explode, and there you'll be again

And we can count the craters on the moon

CHORUS

A sudden connection

A flying sensation

A little celebration

As I crumble to the ground

A painful situation

Followed by the realization

That there's a somber congregation

Standing all around

You're there among the fading crowd

I smile and then I sing aloud

'Goodbye, Goodbye' is all I have to say

It seems as though I should have known

But then I never would have flown

It doesn't seem too high a price to pay

Although I may be dying

My body may be lying

Taxis may be crying

In a chorus of cars

Reality receding

My heart no longer beating

My life will not be fleeting

When I'm out among the stars

One of my personal favorite Logan Whitehurst songs, and the ballad closing one of his finest albums: Earth Is Big. He really set the token pretty Junior Science Club ballad bar high with this one, but topped it several times before he left us way too soon in 2006. The last few lines in this song are especially exquisite. They show that this guy was not just a master of damn near every instrument he put in his hands, including the drums, accordion, concertina and the lobster, but also of writing.

To me this song is a part of several songs Logan wrote as lamentations on dying. There are about five others that I can think of off the top of my head, but all of them were written long before he was diagnosed with brain cancer, and are definitely closer to the aforementioned "crying" Logan songs, than the "laughing" ones. The omnipresence of death in the creative mind is not something I'm unfamiliar with. So much of that understanding informs so much of my everyday life and philosophy, and hopefully I'll cover that in my Max on Music's on Tonight is the Night I Fell Asleep at the Wheel... but I'm getting ahead of myself. It's definitely something that I connect with personally.

The foreshadowing of Logan's untimely death by his own music is something I'd like to cover in more detail, but just the parallels between this one song and his life are chilling. The fact that this song illustrates so poetically exactly what it says in the title; the death of a dreamer, in a very painful, sudden way, unexpected but accepting in a sense, especially towards the end. Like a visit from an old friend you haven't seen since you were a kid. That fear of your impending death you first felt in the middle of the night in your room alone, returning every once in a while throughout your life, moving towards the background and then coming back the minute it left your mind.

To me the narrator seems to be like this upon realizing death is fast approaching: ...Oh shit. I guess this is it. Fuck. Oh well. At least the black will take me in soon... But in a much more poetic way. Returning back to non-existance with a smile.

If only Logan had been so lucky to not have suffered and deal with his mortality in a much heavier sense before months left turned to weeks left. The guy who introduced me to Logan's music said that if anyone deserved to live to be a hundred it was Logan, and I can't find myself arguing with that. But at the least he didn't deserve to go the way he did. Being diagnosed with brain cancer, being told that it's in recession and building your life back up before you're told its come back and you're going to die within the year.

Yeah, I know this is a downer, and yeah, you might not want to read the un-fun Logan stuff if you're not in the mood for that, but the guy had so many songs that were just pure, uncut fun. Hopefully before I return to this note I'll get to some of that stuff, but to not cover some of the guy's best music would be blasphemy. I think next I'm going to do a quick biography of Logan and his music with some recommendations and then do one of his quirky, fun songs to break up the sad.

I might also do a re-edit of this post, some of it was rushed and delayed, but I hope you all got the idea.

-And because the original version is way, way better than mine (no duh), here is a linkypoo to that and also a massive archive of most of Logan's music:

http://www.juniorscienceclub.com/loganarchive/earthisbig/20%20the_death_of_a_dreamer.mp3

http://www.juniorscienceclub.com/loganarchive/

Also, now that winter break is here I'm finally writing as much as I want to. I'm trying to get stuff done, primarily Ram's Head, before moving onto hardcore book making on this... but I just got done developing this real cool twist to Detective Antipathy that I'm pretty excited about. The people I've told about it have been pretty blown away mouths agape and whatnot, which is nice because for a while I was kind of down and thinking that it was a dumb idea and maybe scrapping the whole thing...... But yeah. You sons a bitches won't know what hit you. I can't wait for me to get a chance at having people read this baby.

COMING TODAY! FOR REAL REAL! THIRD TIME'S A CHARM!

Max On Musics 2:

Saturday, 2:43 PM (Death of a Dreamer) By Logan Whitehurst

UPDATE

So I'm pretty much done with the writing of Ayn and I, and just have to edit and glue it all together. It's short, incredibly long for an essay, but short for a book. It's got some good stuff in it. I think when I'm done with my first draft, I'll send it to some of my friends or read it to them and then take notes and do a second draft and figure out what to do from there. I had high hopes for it, thinking it could get published, but right now I'm in a slump and thinking it sucks and everything sucks and blah blah blah.

I'm starting to get into a sprint with my Detective novel, and I love it so. It's so goddamn weird. I can't wait to hear some people's reactions to it... Also I really want to get back onto Eating the Ram's Head and Fig Leaf and having a first draft I can start editing for the send off to the publishers that will hate it. It's just such a monster. So much going on. Don't ever be thinking I'm giving up on this thing. She's gonna see the light of day if its the last thing I do.

I'm also starting a-writing a massive analysis on the Barenaked Ladies Anthology that I'm naming Buck Naked, after their first little independent tape release. This one's been a dream project of mine for a while, trying to toe the line of that ever unpopular opinion of mine: "The band that did the 'I just made you say underwear' song wrote some of the best music ever." I'll be damned if they're forgotten or just go down as that chickity china the chinese chicken band with a couple one hit wonders (oxymoron?) while the thousands of artists a million levels beneath them are remembered and praised in Rolling Stone as the best songs of the same era BNL were making music. It'd really be against the odds for me to be a part of that, the likelihood of this reaching paperback form being slim, but you don't always write for publication. If I did half of the stuff I wrote wouldn't exist and I'd be a much worse writer on account of it.

Speaking of: I'm going to be continuing my Max on Musics dealio. Just as a joke, I gave it album art and a title: "PSYDUCK AND ME" for all the songs I cover in my little fake album. I've got plenty of music I'm thinking about doing and not just Barenaked Ladies songs too! Here's a link to my first Max on Musics, wherein I sing and write an analysis of the song I sing, in case you haven't checked it out yet and want to know what I'm tawkin about:

http://journalswilson.blogspot.com/2011/10/i-can-i-will-i-do-max-on-musics.html

The five year anniversary of the death of one of my favorite musicians is coming up in December, and I hope do an epic Max on Musics of his songs and write about them and him in general as a memorial type thing. His name was Logan Whitehurst. He was and continues to definitely be among the best of the best in the Geek Rock genre, and died of brain cancer in 2006 when he was 29. He was just really goddamn good, with music ranging from silly little songs about a lizard and fish escaping a pet store and noodles dueling to the death, to deep introspections on non-existance, working a dead end job that drives you crazy, saying goodbye to music because it can't earn you a living, and saying goodbye to living itself. And keep in mind that all of the death stuff and every song I'm referencing was way before he was even diagnosed with cancer. His stuff just varied that much just because that was the kind of guy he was; not stuck in any sort of mold, just writing and performing great music.

He's one of those very rare artists that can make you both laugh your ass of and seriously cry like a goddamn baby. I can't think of any other artist anything like him, and hopefully I can pay fair tribute to him on here in the upcoming month. Either way, he's well worth checking out, and most of his music is free on his website. If you're interested, I'd suggest first looking at How Does an Electrostatic Motor Work? onward to Earth is Big and his unreleased stuff, and if you don't mind spending ten bucks on itunes, buying Logan's magnum opus, Goodbye My 4-Track:

http://www.juniorscienceclub.com/loganarchive/

(Archive of most of his work, compiled by the great Jason Steele)

http://itunes.apple.com/us/album/good-bye-my-4-track/id97302059

(Goodbye My 4-Track)

Sew. I hope to be doing that soon. I'm thinking of posting some excerpts from Detective Antipathy, and maybe some finished bits from Ayn and I after she's all drafty. Maybe it's time for me to do an update on all my various projects, like I did in one of my first posts... Also I found this thing on my seat in my English 101 class that I'm writing about. 50 bonus gets for the lucky lad or lady that guesses what that is.

I Can I Will I Do -Max on Musics

So I decided to start small with my first Max on Musics, with just a run through of this little song by Barenaked Ladies, my favorite band ever. Just to get this out of the way, yes, my favorite band is the band that did the 'Chickity China' song as you peons call them, and yes, I think they're better than the Beatles, and pretty much any band ever. You know who else thinks so? PAUL FUCKING MCCARTNEY. That's right. Paul McCartney said his favorite band is the band that did the: "I just made you say underwear" song. And for good reason, unlike some other crazy things Sir Paul believes, like that PETA isn't crazy. Barenaked Ladies, since they were just Ed Robertson and Steven Page in their parent's basement recording cassettes, have demonstrated scary lyrical and compositional skills, and continue to to this day.

Most people remember them for their quirky, goofy songs like "One Week" and "If I Had A Million Dollars", but to really understand the depth of their talent, you need to listen to more Tonight is the Night I Fell Asleep at The Wheels and For Yous and Straw Hat and Old Dirty Hanks. It's sort of like people remembering Warren Zevon for Werewolves of London, and not French Inhaler or Carmelita.....Or The Beatles for I Want to Hold Your Hand and not Strawberry Fields..you get the idea. Barenaked Ladies have a lot of amazing songs. The one I'm singing today is among them.

Download my performance of I Can I Will I Do by clicking here:

http://kiwi6.com/file/1fo4896km2

INSTRUCTIONS: Don't click anything that says download except for the blue text in the yellow box that says: Download File 4.37 MB. NOT the green thing that says download now, and not the blue button that says download. Just the blue text in the yellow box. I'm sorry for the not so user friendly shit, once I find a better way to file host I'll do that.

....

"Friend, this shouldn't be the way things end
But then, a break is just around the bend.
And when you tell me as I leave
You're scared you'll never see my face again
Well, I'm not sure it's the truth

You don't think I can love you
You don't think I can love you
You don't think I can love you
But I can and I will and I do

You write - I read your letters every night
All right, I skim them just to be polite.
I fight embarrassment and shame
The mention of your name makes me turn white
But guilt still makes me refrain

You don't think I can love you
You don't think I can love you
You don't think I can love you
But I can and I will and I do

I imagine you think I don't think of you
You know you couldn't be more wrong
If good intentions paved the road that gets me through
Then I've got a six-lane highway
And I intend to someday
Do all the things I say I can and I will and I do

Hey - it's hard for me to go away
Okay, I know it's not adult
But it's just as difficult for me to stay
And anyway you say

You don't think I can love you
You don't think I can love you
You don't think I can love you

love you

love you

love you

I can and I will and I do
I can and I will and I do"

-From "I Can I Will I Do", written by Steven Page and Ed Robertson

Performed by Barenaked Ladies

What I especially love about the writing style of Steven and Ed, is how much they say with so few words, and mislead you into believing the song is about something it isn't, and turning this misconception on you.

"You don't think I can love you, but:

I can

and I will

and I do"

Just listening to these words, Steven and Ed set up our narrator, desperately trying to convince the 'you' of this song, (let's just assume it's a girl he's in a relationship for expediency's sake, many other interpretations can be had that I ), that in spite of what she's seeing, he in fact loves her and that she shouldn't break it off with him (hint hint, or perhaps she shouldn't be the one breaking it off because he wants to), because her beliefs are unfounded.

But if you really look deep into it, you see he's full of shit. When he talks about what he actually does, as opposed to intends to do, we see that he only skims her letters, and that he internally struggles with and feels guilt and embarrassment about what he does to her. In the end, his reasons for fighting to stay with her are revealed, it's just as hard for him to leave her as it is for him to stay with her, so he chooses to do neither and be wishy washy not really there for her, not committed, but not leaving. The contradictions of what he's trying to convince her that he feels and what truly lies inside of him become obvious, and it fleshes out the story and characters farther than what it seems like on the surface. It's like one day you were passing by this couple arguing, and you hear this guy, his voice breaking and saying some things that strike true with you, but when you think about something he's said deeper and discover a giant hole in his logic, you think: "Wait...He's full of shit! That guy was an asshole!"

That's a lot like my relationship with this song, for a while I sang it in my head, I thinking it's sweet and about heartbreak, and didn't give it much thought until all of a sudden something clicked and I stared off into the distance as I started to understand the song on a deeper level. When that happened, I connected it with personal experiences I've had of someone doing the same thing to me, deeply trying to convince me that everything will be alright and appealing to my emotional side that they intend to someday, do all the things they say, and stop living in their intentions. Mistaking the words of 'can' and 'will', the ability to and planning to with 'do', actually doing it. If they've convinces you...then you've let someone off the hook who hasn't proven themselves, and more than likely will not.

Singing this song was fun, but challenging. I was definitely attempting to channel the way Steven Page sang this on BNL's White Album: Barenaked Ladies Are Men, and he chose to sing it in a different style than he does with most songs. The guy is one of the greatest singers of all time, his voice is powerful with a capital owerful. Just look up Break Your Heart or Call and Answer and you'll see this guy's got some serious pipes, and can belt like a motherfucker. But on the recording of I Can I Will I Do, his voice is hoarse, and restraining the strength we know he has, and his voice gets high just to the point of breaking, and the strong guitar riff hanging above all of the other instruments contrasts the performance style. The guy sounds broken, and it makes us empathize with him immediately, very important in understanding the true meaning of the song. In the end it shows us how weak the character truly is.

I'm not used to singing like this, I'm more used to needing power to stand over a guitar or other instruments, so attempting this live without the vocal levels way higher than the instruments would result in the lyrics being drowned out. Luckily I had garage band, and one taked it with some background sounds from my cat playing with a battery, most of which I cut out. I apologize for whatever I couldn't cut out, next time I'll be better. I hope you enjoyed this new section I'm doing, comment/email if you have any future suggestions for it.....and more coming soon! Essays! Moar International Coffee Day! Book Excerpts? Maybe! WE'LL SEE. WE'LL ALL SEE.

EDIT: Something I didn't add that was cool about the song: When he says "Guilt still makes me refrain-", he's transitioning to the actual refrain of the song, while talking about how literally his guilt makes him refrain. Just a little thing I thought was really goddamn cool. Another example of how clever these ladies are.

Max on Musics Ideas

This was something I've been thinking about lately for a regular project I could work on here. I'm really obsessive about some things, and I spend a lot of time picking things apart, movies, tv shows, books, video games, arguments and ideas, etc., but one of the major ones is music. It's safe to say music is a big part of everyone's life, and I'm not hanging out with the exceptions like the . I've been the lead singer in a few bands, all with hilarious names, and I've played piano and the acoustic lobster since before I could walk. But what I really love about music, especially pop music, is how it has developed as an art form in a very specific way that no other has. Sticking with people.

The entire art form has relied heavily on honing catchy hooks, phrases, licks, themes, etc., to become a part of the listener for quite some time now; that really you can't be a successful artist (not entrepreneur of music like products) without mastering these creative abilities. It's truly an amazing feat to create something that becomes a part of people, but if the artist can make their little ditty not only stick with them, but make them think and feel complicated shit way after they've last listened to it, in my opinion, they have reached a level of personal connection with someone that they haven't even met, that they probably couldn't reach even if they had.

Had enough of my fucking paper on music as an art form? I'll tell you when you've had enough, but back to my original idea. What I'm planning on doing is just analyzing songs every once in a while, mainly focusing on the lyrics as a piece of fine writing (that's kind of my thing), but also touching on analyzations of the musics as it's just as important in understanding the whole picture, I believe. On top of all that, I'll perform the songs I analyze and link them at the top of the article sos you can listen to it before or while you read and I don't have to worry about youtube links expiring or anything.

So....Until then, expect more writing updates soon, an updated catalogue of my works in progress, a link every once in a while updating International Coffee Day, and this new musical feature. Until then. Keep your eyes on the prize and don't falter in the face of adversity. Endeavor to perceiver. Exterminate them all. A boy's best friend is his mother.

-Maxwell Wilson esq.